坏事发生之后反而感到安全
另一个边缘个体的特质是往往在自己并未意识到的情况下，与周围的人陷入激烈的争执。由于之前提到的对语言的各种误解和误读，他不断地重复他被抛弃的无意识幻想，试图验证其他人是否真的不喜欢他，是否真的会抛弃他，以及是否存在敌意和评价。因此，他常常在不自觉的情况下迅速卷入与周围人的冲突中。如果观看《再见爱人》可能会对这个过程有一些认知和了解。
当这种冲突发生或者所谓的不好的事情发生后，他的感受也变得非常重要。在这种争执之后，这样的个体自然会感到沮丧、失望和痛苦，但同时也可能有一种尘埃落定的感觉，一种类似于安全的感觉。因为这一轮验证又结束了，他重新回到了熟悉的被抛弃的位置。因此，如何处理这种安全感本身也是一个重要的方面。他不断地验证坏事总是会发生，因此当坏事真的发生时，他反而感到安全。
而实际上，你会发现这样的个体在更好、更安全的关系中反而感到更不安全。他们更容易刺激对方，让对方验证他们的假设。因此，在咨询中，由于咨询提供了一个较好的环境，这种个体的移情可能会更加显著
An individual with distinct characteristics often finds themselves engaged in intense conflicts with others, often without being consciously aware of it. Due to the various misunderstandings and misinterpretations of language mentioned earlier, they continuously reiterate their unconscious fantasy of being abandoned, attempting to validate whether others genuinely dislike them, will abandon them, and whether there is hostility and judgment. Consequently, they frequently and involuntarily become entangled in conflicts with those around them. In a family setting, those close to them might have a better understanding of this process.
Following such conflicts or so-called adverse events, the individual’s feelings become crucial. After such disputes, the individual naturally experiences feelings of frustration, disappointment, and pain. Simultaneously, there may be a sense of settling dust, a feeling of safety. This arises because another round of validation has concluded, and they have returned to the familiar position of being abandoned. Therefore, managing this sense of security becomes an essential aspect. They continually validate the belief that bad things will inevitably happen, so when adversity does occur, they paradoxically feel secure.
In more favorable circumstances, it is observed that these individuals feel more insecure in better, safer relationships. They are more prone to stimulating the other person, prompting them to validate their assumptions. Therefore, in counseling, where a conducive environment is provided, the intensity of these individuals’ behaviors may become even more pronounced.
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